The internet's most honest donkey leaderboard. Real donkeys, real votes, zero flattery — scored 1–10 by people who love them. Sanctuaries list adoptable residents. Owners show off their herd. Everybody wins, especially the donkeys.
We built NoLies because donkeys deserve better than being the punchline. Every rating, every sponsorship, every vote puts hay in a manger. That's the whole business plan, and it's enough. 🫏
Donkeys are famously stubborn — they can't be flattered, bribed, or astroturfed. Neither can we.
Sanctuaries list adoptable residents; owners show off their own herd. Every entry is human-reviewed before it goes live.
One vote per donkey per device. No bots, no bought scores, no pity points — the average is the average.
Top-rated donkeys get crowned weekly. Sanctuary donkeys get a sponsor button; owner donkeys get glory.
Launch herd — example entries while the first real submissions arrive. Every score starts at zero. No seeding, no boosting, ever.
Rescue, age 9. Survived three shelters and still side-eyes every carrot like it owes him money.
— unrated
0 votes · launch herd, be the first to score honestly
Peaceful Valley (example listing)
Mini, age 5. Has won her owner's heart and lost every staring contest with the barn cat.
— unrated
0 votes · launch herd, be the first to score honestly
Submitted by owner (example)
Age 14. Brays at 6am sharp. The rooster filed a noise complaint.
— unrated
0 votes · launch herd, be the first to score honestly
Sanctuary partner (example)
Age 3. Professional treat inspector. Will work for apples.
— unrated
0 votes · launch herd, be the first to score honestly
Submitted by owner (example)
Age 27. Retired cart donkey. Naps 18 hours a day and has earned every minute.
— unrated
0 votes · launch herd, be the first to score honestly
Sanctuary partner (example)
Mini, age 6. Leads the herd on walks and takes her job extremely seriously.
— unrated
0 votes · launch herd, be the first to score honestly
Submitted by owner (example)
DONKEY OF THE WEEK
The first Donkey of the Week will be named once real votes are in. It could be a grizzled rescue with a heart of gold or a mini with main-character energy. The voters decide — the donkey just has to show up.
List your adoptable residents on the leaderboard, or embed our white-label rate & sponsor widget on your own site — your branding, your donation flow, our voting engine.
Your donkeys join the leaderboard with a Sponsor button wired to your adoption page. You keep every donation.
Drop our rate & sponsor widget into your own website. Visitors rate your donkeys, then sponsor them — without ever leaving your brand.
You know yours is the best-looking donkey alive. Prove it. Submit a photo, rally your friends, and climb the only leaderboard your donkey respects.
One donkey per entry, your photo, your words. Free while we're in beta.
Real votes from real donkey people. A 6.4 here means more than a 10 anywhere else.
Weekly winners get the 👑 and a permanent spot in the Hall of Fame.
Yes. Real donkeys — rescues, minis, mammoths, mules welcome. If it brays, it belongs.
Straight to the sanctuary, through their own donation flow. We take a small success fee only when a sponsorship completes — if we earn nothing, you pay nothing.
We're onboarding founding sanctuaries now — simple monthly pricing, no setup fee. Email us and we'll talk numbers like adults.
Absolutely — that's half the point. Owner entries compete on the same leaderboard, same honest scoring.
It's archived here, still age-gated, still 18+ only. This homepage is the new chapter: donkeys.